Sometimes I seriously thought I'd been born in a different place than where I was supposed to (err.. even my parents think so), but now I think I should've been posted on this planet centuries ago! At a time when human population was not so abundant and I could've walked around without bumping into some stranger every 5 seconds and being baffled with how diverse we all are. Just like I felt amazed today (in a not-very-good sense, though) at how my thinking doesn't seem to match with most, and where it does even the teeniest bit, I start loving that person like crazy! So you see, all my friends have been made because they actually understood what I was trying to say, at some point of time.
|Pic from Google. I know these are socks, not thoughts, but at least it rhymes! :P|
Just to clarify things, I want to point out a few peculiar characteristics and the way I feel and behave. This can be a direct retort to anyone who judges people on how they look and behave in a closed environment (like in a classroom). Or maybe not, because no one actually has been going about being judgmental, except myself. And the one I'm judging is, well, me. See? I don't even make any sense these days.
I love observing people, especially if there's something that catches my eye, like the color of their shirt, or a beautiful design, or their bag, or shoes, or the way they walk, talk or look. If I find them fascinating enough, I'd need someone to punch me to make me realize I've been staring far too long. I can't just help it. You know, they should be happy. They could make it to my not-yet-started-book! ;)
At this point of time, I don't care about what 'anyone would think of me if I did this'. I just don't. I'm not going to change my plans or the way I feel comfortable just for you, if you don't care to do something yourself. It's funny, because not-so-long-ago, I would've felt great pangs of sadness if I got victimized, even in a joke, but not anymore. If you think you can make me the butt of your jokes and make me feel bad about it, you're so wrong.
I really like trendy stuff. The only thing is, I start liking them after all the hullabaloo has died down and no one wants to talk about it anymore. Or they just don't care. That puts me a year behind my peers in the way we think and what we like. So if I'm scoffing at you now, over something everyone loves, just know that I'll be 'loving it' a year later. ;)
When you notice things a lot, you see the way people treat/think of their teachers changes a bit as you get into college or afterwards. Just a bit, because I respect all teachers a lot. I don't think there's more hard work required in any field than it is in teaching. While in school, as little kids, we do everything possible to make the teacher like us (though we don't know she loves us anyway), then as we get into higher classes, we see our classmates making fun of our teachers and to gel in, we laugh at their lame jokes too. I admit that happened in college and I'm ashamed of it. Now when I'm into Post-grad college, I respect them all the more, because the effort they put in and bearing our atrocious behavior, they're doing a lot.
Even though I've learned a lot from reading and it's my ultimate pleasure experience each time, it's still a tiny reason why I don't really know how to talk much. Though I shouldn't be attributing this to reading, because otherwise as well, I'm a dork-head. I mean, while walking in a group, I see people continuously speaking about something or the other, the grass, the class, the roof, the proof. I don't know how they do it! I also notice what they do, but really, I don't word it out. How there's an omlette smell in the canteen, there's just no point. And weirder still, it seems normal when I hear it from them, but it seems stupid when I will be the one to say it.
I love music with great lyrics with a soothing tune, and also that which has a lot of dance beats in it, but I can't dance. I don't. I'm too clumsy for something that beautiful. I'll be sitting somewhere off the dance floor and making up all sorts of steps in my head, but when you drag me to the floor, I wouldn't do more than just sway at the spot. Believe me, even my feet wouldn't move. I'd watch you all dancing so wonderfully and wonder why I can't and attribute it to the fact that our TV doesn't have enough music channels, rather than accepting that I haven't really tried (that's actually not true, I did learn hip-hop for four months sometime in 2010, which was a flop! Dancing and I? We're a mismatch.)
[Added later: My definition of subtlety is completely old school. There's always a fine line between what is normal behaviour and when it starts becoming insensitive/indecent. In my dictionary, this line is very fine and I hate it when anyone crosses it. Try to cross the line and I'll opt out of it.
I very well know how to 'adjust'. Just remember to be a little considerate yourself when you ask me to 'adjust']
I don't know why I've written it at all. There was something I thought of while in class (that doesn't mean I don't listen in class. I just daydream a little too much ;)), but when I actually got down to typing, I forgot and this is the result! Anyway, I still hope it'd warn you how very unstable my mental balance is, in case you still had misgivings about my intelligence. Okay, that's not true. I'm a freaking genius. See a hint of instability? ;)
Life update: College is okay. Better at least, than before. Though our workload hasn't decreased one bit. We get off even later now, but I've convinced myself that it's okay. :)