On reading and readers...

Reading's been a vital part of my life so far. Sometimes it seems as if I'm overstating the fact, seeing how there are others who read as much, but they don't talk about it all the time. There's something more to it than what I see or what you see or what we know. I know there is something in that activity that is inherently 'me', something that makes me feel complete and at peace with myself and the world. It defines who I am, who I was and who I am going to be. When I close my eyes and try remembering life as a child, I find myself either playing with my kid brother, excited about the games we invented and planning to put them to use, or going about in the narrow park with overgrown grass, wondering how and where to put up our 'playhouse' (which never existed in reality, of course, because in my imagination, it would be made of mud, and no grown-up would help us). Apart from these, the moments of flashback I have of that time nearly always include a book in my hand.

There was that one time a friend had come over to play, and by stroke of luck, I had chanced upon a book by Enid Blyton, a blue hardcover full of stories, a book I'd forgotten I ever had, so much that it was almost new. I remember being completely glued to the book. The grumpy friend had left soon after. Another time, I wasn't as excited initially when I saw a boxed set of Harry Potter books (1-4) instead of the Barbie I'd asked for, but I remember being glued to Philosopher's Stone till 11pm that night when mom had to wrench it away from my grasp because I had school the next day. All in all, I've lived a humble life as a kid, not being interested in anything other than books. It's trickled down as I've grown-up. I still have little patience for movies, TV shows, gadgets, fashion stuff, shopping, etc. Of course, I love certain movies and shows, I'm technologically inclined and have preference for simple and elegant fashion. I'm not 'backward' in most senses, but I've found out a secret.

Now, this secret comes at a price. There was this video/documentary on J.K. Rowling I was watching last night where she said, 'For someone to love a thing, it has to be loathed by someone else.' So my secret here might seem like a load of bull to some, but some would definitely get it and hopefully appreciate it too.

It's this: Reading gives us much more than a good grasp of language. In fact, language is only one of the useful things you might get (because not every reader can write well, either). More than that, it gives you life. Really, if you are a reader who is capable of experiencing happiness, satisfaction or pleasure in a book, you're open to knowledge about life itself. That knowledge helps a reader make better sense of the world, have more feelings of empathy and tolerance, learn to appreciate the beauty of things, be more cool-minded and accepting. Reading also gives a reader answers to questions he might not even know he had, and the irresistible urge to grow as a reader. It increases knowledge about things that would blow your brains if you read about them. Do not trust TV shows and such forms of entertainment for facts, because they're largely based on entertainment, and would most probably be giving a one-sided perspective. 

How do you grow as a reader?

You experiment and read books beyond your comfort level, gradually, slowly. You have to let it happen on its own with just the tiniest bit of prodding, because if you force anything, you're going to hate it and there, that's the end of it. Reading is also sensitive. I have certain genres I cannot even glance at, all because I have deep-rooted biases because of wrong time experiment or maybe a bad book or maybe I really don't have much tolerance for those topics anyway. But really, I've grown as a reader more in the past couple of years than anything else. When you grow, you read and love and appreciate those genres you earlier didn't touch. A growing reader is also a wonderful resource because they insist on sharing their feelings with their friends and making them read too. They crave sharing of books, so much so that they start getting annoyed when others seem indifferent.

How does that help you?

You start looking at life beyond the ordinary, you are more optimistic and calm when it comes to real-life problems, though you might become that kind of person who draws into a shell and comes out only when it seems safe to do so. That's all right. You have the right to feel the way you do.

More than that, you'll realize that your place in the world is minuscule, you'll not be self-obsessed because you will be humble enough to realize you're small, yet powerful enough to influence other lives. Yes, you will not only know that you have that power, you will also believe in it and you will be driven to work for causes beyond those that carry you to materialism and selfish benefit. Tell me, don't you feel a tinge of sadness or pain when you see a poor kid? Don't you feel bad about wasting money when someone living in a construction house cannot even have enough food to survive? Readers tend to feel more strongly simply because they are capable of immediately putting themselves in that position and imagining what it's like. Readers and non-readers might take the same action to help others, but when it comes to feelings, I think readers personally feel more. Non-readers tend to be more practical in their approach. 

Readers will know their life beyond what they see, because they've read so much that they are able to connect more at the level of their feelings, and it is not easy to ignore a life so drastically different from yours. You would want to do something, and you, the reader, will figure something out even if it is a small step. Would you not?

What can you do?

As a reader, the least you could do is to motivate people around you to turn into readers themselves. It might sound obvious, but the fact is that it is very difficult. My brother G, despite living among piles of books, is not an avid reader. Some people just find it difficult, specially because, sad as it may sound, this basic activity is introduced to them as a pleasure activity quite late in life. By that time, most already have a set of hobbies and activities they have found solace in, and reading might not be in that list. Can you force anyone to read? NO! If you constantly pester them, they're going to rebel even more and thus, be as far from the idea of reading than they were before. You need to then do it in a subtle way, so that you're not forcing your opinion on anyone, because let's face it, a lot many wonderful people have survived without reading too, but they seem to have something else, a sense of understanding of the world, which is rare.

So if you need to do the deed and contribute your bit, I'd suggest you do it subtly. If a friend points out how he/she thinks it is boring, politely and excitedly tell them how it isn't boring. Talk about books and reading whenever the opportunity comes up. Show an interest in anyone who says they've read a certain book. Strike up conversations. Ask them what it is about, and if they enjoyed reading it. Tell them about the book you love or the story in an easy language. If you know what interests them, try to recall if you've read any book on that theme, and recommend it to them. 

The best way to get people to read is to make books available to them. I recently came across this article that talks about how soldiers from WWII were given affordable copies of books by publishers, how it affected them, and how drastically it changed the reading and publishing industry in America. That step, the offering of good quality books in affordable formats to soldiers in wars, was a step not only to create sales but to provide the many benefits of books to many, many people. 

Tell me, how many bookshops are there in your locality? I don't mean those that sell school books, nor the stationery shops that keep a handful of kiddie story books. I mean proper book shops. If you live in a modest part of Delhi, I'll bet on one shop within a radius of two kilometres. I do not have any shop near my house. In fact, I do not have anything book related in my neighbourhood. Except schools. Oh yeah, there are loads of schools - I could give you ten names just to serve as landmarks, but no book shop.

As a reader, make it your responsibility to spread this habit. I will not say that the internet is the cause of decline in book readership, because with the internet, people DO get reading material readily, even if I would think that most of it is crap. Still, I do not believe in the 'at least they're reading something' ideology either, so I make small efforts to share articles and reading pieces I feel must be read. You could do that too. Move to books. If you are a reader, completely move to books! Gift books to your friends, ask for books if you're being asked for a gift choice. Be the best friend's children's book resource. Forget being considered a nerd. It's for everyone's benefit. 

***

You shouldn't always be 'cool with everything'. Here's why...

There are some things that sometimes make me feel guilty. Getting annoyed at something/someone, not feeling quite satisfied with life, finding people in the metro annoying, feeling dizzy looking at newspaper headlines, or news shows that talk about a monkey saving another monkey as headline news. These are recent. Since childhood, I've accumulated quite a lot of similar stories where I was made to feel, and now I automatically feel, guilty about feeling annoyed/irritated/angry/sad at anything I feel is not quite right. It's a reason deep rooted. We're supposed to be good kids and not shout or crib a lot. Of course we should! That's what kids are supposed to actually do. Because when they don't, they keep it inside and start hating everything that's related to the thing they weren't allowed to sulk over. 

Now in this age and time, despite the fact that it feels sickening, we've seen the relative and even absolute importance of being online. That inevitably led to a shift in thoughts - for the good and for the bad. We're exposed to almost everything that happens in the world, yet we don't feel strongly for any one thing. We have all the information that was never there before, yet we cannot make sense of some sensitive topics. We cannot argue with maniacs who've taken over the social media to spread hate messages, because they're beyond control and influencing other maniacs too. And most of all, we cannot express how annoying all this, because we're supposed to 'just chill' and 'be cool with everything.'

Fine, you're propagating peace. No one is allowed to argue or point out the negatives, but why should the world get away with doing something so stupid? We should start speaking up. Not on blogs, not on social media, and certainly not in the form of protests. Don't feel bad about stopping someone from doing something silly just because you don't want to hurt their feelings or spoiling their time after a long day. Speak up even when someone silences you with a 'chill dude' when you protest against a racist remark. Point out when someone in a group cracks a rude joke. Would you rather feel terrible about the kind of people you hang out with, or tell them somehow that they're wrong? Tell them if what they said is wrong. Stop 'chilling'. It's not helping. Neither you, nor the world. You don't feel at peace anyway. You just think you're feeling cool because you fool yourself into believing so.

Taking yet another helping of a large scoop of chocolate ice-cream because the host is forcing you, letting your classmates make you stay for an hour longer because they're still working, letting go of a prejudiced remark because it didn't seem too offensive at the time, laughing at stupid WhatsApp videos people keep sending, looking at people sneaking peeks at other people's cell phones in the metro, a neighbour's pet dog roaming freely around because they say it's harmless - all these have personally been things I've felt guilty about. Not just about letting all that happen, but also about feeling not-so-cool about it. That's the level of stress expectations can have. Why can't I say if I find something wrong? I'm terrified of dogs, so even if he's a harmless half-lion, I will feel bad if you tell me that I'm wrong to say it's not right to leave it out like that. It makes me cringe when people talk in terms of caste and social status about anyone, and then describing them, so I will tell you that you need to shut up. It's not just about how "I" feel, but about right and wrong. This chalta hai attitude is wrong. Nahi chalta aise. 

When you get into the chalta hai attitude, you forget your limits. You cross an invisible line and become one of those who know no better than to just have 'fun' and live for themselves. You show others that it is okay to deviate, to accept what they might feel is wrong, to become 'cool'. 

Src: pinterest

Of course I don't mean you should always be on edge and snap at everything that ticks you off. Sometimes you just cannot point out things directly. Sometimes it's not required. But we need to be aware of what we're doing, what we're saying and how we say it. It's important to know what you think! Most of the times, we're not thinking for ourselves, but simply repeating what others are saying, or worse, what the majority is saying. Take a break, sit back and just think. How do you feel? What makes you feel bad? How can you make a difference? It's not all that difficult, really. You affect the people around you. Stop doing things that you think are wrong. That's it. It's not difficult. When people would see that you don't participate in anything you don't like, they're going to actually feel inspired. Even if they criticize you on your face, they're wondering how you do it. Some might even say that they admire your stand. And if you feel that it'll be difficult, look around. There are always heroes somewhere; someone who's quietly living the way you should. Approach them for help, they'll never refuse. 

So the next time you're tempted to laugh at a sexist joke, stop yourself and tell the person that it's not funny. You should not feel guilty about doing what is right. Never, ever.  

If I were a witch...

Disclaimer: By 'witch', I am not referring to any kind of society/group that exists. Here, witch is referred to in the fictional sense.

***

Actually, I AM a witch, if one were to believe my younger brother G. I was having one of those urges where tiny voices shout in your head, 'write! write! write!' but I didn't have much idea of what to write about. I asked G for a prompt and got this one.

'Write about how you are a witch...

Or what would you do if you *really* got the powers of a witch...

Or about how you hate muggles...'

He nearly earned a bone-crushing hug at that, but he's good at dodging such impulse-driven actions, so the moment passed. And I got this prompt.

When I started thinking about it, I realized that our siblings might be the only ones who know the facts about us, because the more I thought about it, the more I realized I really have the characteristics associated with a witch! Woohoo! Now, G might have imagined me as the hooked nose, black robe wearing, broom yielding witch we used to watch in cartoons, while I wanted to imagine myself as Hermione, but then, why not the traditional one? It's not that they were wicked most of the times. They were mostly shunned by society because everyone feared their knowledge and non-conformity to patriarchy. So if we go by a mix of the good and the bad, we can then look at me, and draw parallels. Let's begin:

# 1. Respect for brain power

Witches are said to hold deep, ancient wisdom and knowledge, especially when it comes to psychology and people. I'm nowhere close to wise, but I do have an interest, and a deep reverence for ancient knowledge and the powers of the brain. Calling oneself smart brain-wise would be preposterous, so I'd refrain from doing that publicly (no matter no one reads this anyway, and no matter how true it is!), but I have to say it's a big, big wow factor above all else. If you tell me you've invented something, that would be the most attractive thing you could say. ^_*

# 2. Intolerance for stupidity

We're all stupid, but some transcend the basic levels and stay high up on the idiocy radar, so that no matter what they speak, it always sounds stupid. And that's what people with agendas relating to doing something awesome, are intolerant to. Sorry, but if you act stupid, we don't. have. the. time. for. it. Goodbye!

# 3. Muggles. -_-

True, everyone could not have been born with magical gifts (kindness, empathy, common sense, to list a few), so there would always be those who either are always harping about the same old things all the time, or those who lack security in their lives and instead of coming to terms with it, they make things miserable for others. Those who fall in this category are muggles, and I wish we could just concoct a brew with pig-tails and salamander nails for ingredients and give it to them, so they can drink it and attain nirvana or at least get better. But alas, forcefully attempting to heal people is not allowed, and in case of witches, it's unlawful! Huh. Proof that the world is overflowing with muggles.

# 4. Living for yourself first

I so miss the time when people were not into social media. I do, I do, I so do! Staying away from it is not the solution, in case you were about to suggest that, because in that case, I'd be left with stray dogs for company, who happen to be the only beings not yet ensnared by it. Even cats have a huge following. But I suffer from dogophobia, and even if I continue my 'no-more-than-half-hour-of-FB-a-day' streak (which, by the way, has made my life much awesomer), I'd still wish we could go back to the good ol' days. :') I think I digressed from the point, but not much. I do prefer to live away from all the noise that internet causes, what with information overload about *the* most crucial things we might miss. Just like those witches feel energized with natural elements like water and the good ol' countryside, I wish I could live like that now. Too old for all ze jazz.

# 5. Seemingly scary to people

This is my favourite. :') I can make people think I'm a scary person; that I'd snap at them if they cross me for any reason, even though that's far from the truth. I used to get annoyed by this earlier, but hey, it's saved me from a lot of disgusting stuff. Annoying kids in school, for example. More annoying people after school, and anywhere else, basically. Don't want to talk to someone? Your poker face would keep them away. Yay! 

It's not really that bad, you know? Heck, I love it. That leaves only a few people who know you for you, who know what your expressions - scary or not - really, really mean, and that makes them really, really special, innit? :')

# 6. Rebellious

After all the time I've spent trying to 'repair' this thing, I've finally accepted it as an inherent thing in me. It just comes naturally and I can't help it. In fact, I wouldn't mind if you call me sadu on my face (wait. You already do -_-), because that's how I am. I hate a lot of things, and don't you go telling me how I need to accept everything, because you have to see that the things I hate actually are hateful, okay? I hate having people around who don't mean much to me (probably why I avoid social gatherings), I kind of hate having someone tell me what to do (in that 'I-know-everything-you-don't-know-anything way) and I hate how books without anything to learn from, except a two minute entertaining thought, are having a huge market. And as for people...

# 7. Independence

Continuing the saduness, I hate being dependent on someone for most things. The top-most reason I love Scoot is because of the independence it offers. No more flagging down riksha/auto-riksha/whatever if you can travel all by yourself. If I could cook (believe it or not, I actually want to learn cooking now), I'd do that myself too. Like all witches who happily do all that they can themselves, I prefer doing the same.

# 8. Carefree

I used to be carefree till about two years ago, after which I was thrown into hell a place that sucked it all out. Now I'm going back to being awesome again, so I guess I can count that too. 

Caring about what people think about how I look/talk/do things? Nah. 

Caring about doing things just so it looks 'nice'? Nah.  

Caring about how some people might think you're selfish? I seriously don't care. 

It's not that I've turned mean, but I'm just preferring my own likes/dislikes. It's important to know myself better, and this is a part of it. So deal with it.

There could be more similarities, as G very helpfully pointed out.

Witchie much?

"You're a sadist... but I think you're a cute sadist. Then, umm... you're also like... who's that guy in Germany? Hitler! You're dictatorial. You're also clever, and loud, and you like to travel to places so you wish for a broom like a witch's (my comment: yusss!) and well, I've always said you look like a... "

By this time, I'm not listening. These are enough for now, don't you think? When I Google searched witches, I got really serious stuff, but I'm limiting myself to the casual witch reference. Y'know, that's more... sadu sounding. ;)

Go ahead. Call me a witch. Proud to be one. ;) 

Biased views, but MY views!

I should seriously get an award for the most lame blog-post titles. -_-

***

I'm kind of biased in my opinion, about everything and everybody. Let me tell you that for someone like me, it takes a lot of constraint to not pop out a steady 'I hate it', 'That's stupid', 'That's just crazy!' or 'Whaat kindddd of a person is sheee?' every time something stupid happens, which by the way, is almost all the time. So you can guess how constrained I might be feeling. I believed I could pour it all out in a diary or something, but then the speed of my thoughts is way faster than my hands can write, so I find it easier to type. And if I'm typing, it has to be posted. Why should one waste what one's written, right? I mean, unless it is absolute trash or demeaning someone. This could classify under either category, but just because of the fact that it's written by me and the important fact that I don't really care about rebellious jacks who might think of me as stupid or whatever, I think it's necessary for me to take this out. 

First off, I'm not really, like "really" detesting anyone in particular, and mostly these people are victims of this extremely weird kind of an environment we're into and not everyone has the 1) brain or 2) capability to get out of it, like some awesome people can. So that leaves us with so many people who do all sorts of crazy stuff, believing in things they shouldn't and make sensible people seem boring. Anyway, since I'm not targeting anyone but just expressing my thoughts, I don't need any rebuttal or hate mail. Even if you do send one, it's unlikely I'd respond. Unless it is to seek you out and feed you to my hungry dragon. She likes people roasted.

In no particular order:

1. Everyone is NOT a writer. And the strange thing is, everyone seems to think that they ARE. Everyone as in, all those who claim to be. Seriously, if you're one of those who has just read the baseless-emotionless-storyless recent junk in the name of contemporary writing and then in a surge of energy you write one of your own, you are not a writer. We were discussing this in office today after one of us expressed how people sending in their manuscripts or story submissions are all obsessed with the idea of love, while not having the least idea of how to express it. We saw books with stories that absolutely sucked. If not the story then the writing was meaningless. 

It's not important for you to take out a book with your name on it, unless it is a product that will actually contribute something good to society. Stories are regarded well for a reason, they're tenets of various forms of expression, but it needs to be done with care. You cannot write a book in a month, however good a writer you are. You need to spend time analyzing every aspect of it, you should know far more than what you're putting in your book and most of all, you should tell a story that is useful/beautiful/meaningful. And tell it with care and love. Those books I call trash don't show an ounce of anything I mentioned above. In fact, I don't really believe in their stand when they say, 'at least we make more people get into the habit of reading.'

What's the point of reading if you're not reading something of value? Stop promoting trash, people. Seriously. If you want to write adult novels, do that with care, precision and do it artfully. Don't just dump your crass thoughts in a character and go out promoting it because that's what people, or the "youngsters" want to read. Those kind of readers are anyway better off not reading anything rather than reading stuff that makes them even more gross than how they already are. *shudders*

2. What's up with teeny kids having totally silly-college-kid Facebook profiles? Wait. What's up with teeny kids having a Facebook profile in the first place? Returning home in the evening, I'm greeted by this cute little girl, aged 11 who says, 'Didi I sent you a friend request on FB, please accept it.' I seriously found it kind of cute, but then saw her status updates. I'm not blaming the kids, it's just......... something in the way kids are being brought up. Why does an eleven year old need to post about Deepika Padukone being compared to Kareena Kapoor, or about that Aliya Bhatt woman? When I was 11, I guess I was pretty much enthused about picture books, the new brain teaser game dad got, and Shakalaka Boom Boom. Oh, also Flintstones and Tom and Jerry and Popeye. I'm not saying they should do the same. But at least let kids be kids, no? 

3. Those women with high ponytailed hairstyles in the metro. I hate the lot. Especially when it's a crowded train and you're forced to stand behind these girls/ladies/women with high hairstyles and rough hair that fall straight on your face and gets even more annoying because these ladies just-can't-stand-still! Once you shift yourself slightly to the left to avoid the spiky-ness on your face, they'll somehow get the hint and move their silly heads even more. 

4. I don't even want to start on behaviour and attitude of women in the metro. Why do people have to stare? Like, why? And not even out of curiosity. They would stare and make you feel weird. They would stare and pass a smirk. Just-like-that. Man! Is there something in the metro air that makes these normal people sadists? Or do all stupid people travel in metro? Why can't people just keep their annoying noses to themselves and get the concept of personal space? I hardly use my cellphone in the metro unless it is to read something, because people have this hugely irritating habit of peeking into your phone to see what you're doing. They'll read your WhatsApp conversation over your shoulders, enjoy the videos you're watching from your right and left, and having enjoyed themselves, would look up at you and stare for a while, as if analyzing and carefully forming their *important* opinions about you. Umm lady? Who are you? -_-

5. I hate arrogant, proud and haughty people. Most of the times, they're not even as smart as they proclaim themselves to be. And then you feel nauseous knowing that they actually have fans drooling over them. Who reads those books on leadership lessons and behaviour??? If you have a fan following, you need to act responsible! You have the power to influence others, at least use it wisely! Although I do believe in the fact that these people are seldom genuinely liked. Sometimes they don't know this, and sometimes they do know but don't care. Weird!

   

6. Glancing at people in the metro and finding every head bowed, eyes glued to cell phones, headphones stuck in their ears, is hudd annoying. I admit. I too use the metro time to quickly message friends and family, but I most certainly don't waste time playing Candy Crush, or like the fellow passenger today, Farmville. I mean, it's kind of okay if I think about it. If they find it 'recreational', it is up to them, but there's just something wrong in looking at everyone staring at screens. It feels so mechanical and robotic. :/  

7. I don't like the fact that there's business in every damn thing we use. Overload of commercialization! The books in the market, the movies, the every day products, everything is about "what sells". It sucks. What about promoting something just because it is good? So what if it has a niche market? Those limited people would be immensely grateful. Why make everything mass market? :'( My idea of good products is when the seller is convinced of the quality and utility of what he's selling, and he convinces the buyers to try his product and buyers love it. Not how it works most of the time these days: looking at what "sells" and then making the product. You'd think I'm crazy or passed MBA by fraud, but fortunately I have personal opinions too. And I believe more in them. If I would ever write a book, I wouldn't look at what is selling and then conceptualize an idea. I'd look at what "I" want to tell and think of the best, and most personal way to bring it out. And then tell the world why they should read it. 

8. Have you seen shy kids? Their parents are those who seem the most disturbed, because they want their kid(s) to be 'outgoing' and tez. Without realizing that the kid is a human as well, and someone with his/her own characteristics. Asking a kid to be who he/she is not, is child abuse. Stop worrying about stupid "competition" in the world. The biggest thing you can teach your kid is how to find happiness in the littlest of things, and then let him/her go about discovering life themselves. Especially in the Indian culture, it's terrible how sometimes people have to compromise their own aspirations, their choice of partner, their own feelings, just because people in the family would not support them. It's kind of pathetic that people go out shouting slogans and sharing stupid messages on social media, talking about development and other such BS of the country, when they won't bother to accept the evils they're practicing in their own homes in the name of 'culture' and 'tradition'. Total stupidity. 

9. I love simplicity and people who're simple. They're usually the kindest of all, and a pleasure to talk to. They enrich you with the super-simple but meaningful things they say, they won't gossip about useless stuff and their idea of fun is what I call real fun. :)