If I could...

If I could, I'd tell you

What I mean, with just a smile

Without words to say, I'd take you

In my thoughts, deeper by a mile.

If I could, I'd never think 

Twice before envisioning myself

To be in that place of my dreams

Eluding 'practicality' itself.

Pic from Google

If I could, I'd leave every

Materialistic thing, just to be

With you in your hour of need

If only this is what you'd really see.

If I could, I'd make your anger

Your sadness, your irritation, vanish

With just a feather touch and fill in love

In your heart, where it was always banished.

If I could, I'd forget what I went through

All those times I didn't know the difference

Between a friend and a fake, who

Left me with no other chance.

If I could, I'd be all what I want to be

Without a care in the world, of what

Others might see. I'd be my true self

For me, for you, for everything I ever sought.

If I could, I'd believe in this

And nothing else, begin to live again

With that zest and vigour, no pessimism

Now I think.... Maybe I can.....

Hello people! I would not have been writing this at all, had I not been down with fever and advised bed rest by the great doctor! Wait, I don't want sympathy, you know why? Because I look at it this way: I'd been into a crazy schedule for almost a month now, calculating how many months more to go (it's 23, imagine!). Not that I don't like it at all, I do. I've learned a hell lot of things in just a month and I'm very happy about it, but, I'm more of an emotional person, someone who values thoughts, feelings, emotions, love and family beyond anything else. I needed a break, for heaven's sake! I could have spent these past two days lying down because of fever, worrying over what I'm missing, but I chose not to. Really, how does it matter? I'm actually feeling relieved, that there's still something called 'normalcy' in my life. That I can get up in the morning to the sound of Mom leaving for work, have breakfast peacefully when it's not a Sunday, sit in the veranda with awesome weather and read a book, not even look at my phone all day (I wish I never had one! I dislike them so much), read a week's worth of collected newspaper supplements and have something to write about on this blog! 

I do have homework, pending assignments and all, but I can at least have a day, right? Maybe it will result in 'inefficiency', 'less marks' and 'running behind schedule', but listen, I'm not a machine and I'm not going to work like one. I was thinking this over last night, that how bad it is that because of the so called 'important' things like 'work', we have to cut down on the time we want to spend with family. Like still going to school when someone at home is ill because you have a test, or leaving for work because of an important meeting? Why? Why can't we just do what we feel like doing? Maybe we can, if we decide to forgo these materialistic benchmarks we create for ourselves. I don't want this to happen in my life and I'd make sure I make it the way I want. Seems a bit too 'impractical', right? Okay, maybe I wouldn't get the highest score and lose that high paying job. Guess what? I couldn't care less.