Up until a few seconds ago, this page was called 'Memories', since it held a poem (a remembrance) of a young girl who dearly missed (and misses) her loving grandmamma. It couldn't be a post, for it would have had to be looked up, scrolled down and what-not. So now when she feels like writing to grandmamma, about her or anything, she'd post it here on grandmamma's page. Newest posts on top.
Today, she wanted to write yet another something, though she wouldn't be able to manage something as beautiful as that poem. She doesn't feel upto it. Yet.
***
Written and posted on: Nov 30, 2014
Dearest Jhaiji,
We went to watch a movie today. We missed you sooo much because we know you'd have loved it! An animated film, in Punjabi, on Chaar Sahibzaade. :') I could almost imagine how you would have felt while watching the movie. Everybody, especially the old people, were crying so much! I'm sure you'd have known most of the story and would have added a lot more for our benefit. I miss your stories, but at the same time, am truly thankful that you spent such precious time with me, and that we bonded over those stories. :')
I loved this movie because it depicted the history of our faith, but more than that, it sent across the message of what exactly the sacrifices of our gurus and their families meant, what it is being a Sikh, what constitutes Sikhism, and how we're the lucky ancestors of brave souls who stood for justice and equality. Wish we would have watched it together, but anyhow, such things remind us more and more of you. Love you the mostest! Miss you. :*
Written and posted on: July 19, 2014
Dearest Jhaiji,
Ever since I got this laptop (on my birthday in 2011), the background image is a collage of your pictures. Today I had been considering making another collage with pictures of us (family), and in the process, found a picture of yours that is probably the last one. You still look graceful in it, of course. I just miss you still, but I do want to let you know we're all doing fantastic and you needn't worry about anything. I guess you listened to my prayers from the last time, because now that I read that, I realized each of those points has been taken care of. Thank you! :)
I got into the field of my choice, work of my choice, although I'm aware of this tug inside that'll keep me always on the lookout for things and opportunities that would help me get better. I'm quite satisfied, though, if not relieved. Of course there's work pressure, but it's something I can handle without breaking down or getting that sinking feeling in my heart. It's good. :)
G's also completed his course. He's made us truly proud. I'm so sure you'd have been ecstatic! And that you see him up close when he's out there. ;) I'm jealous of him for this luxury he enjoys, but nevertheless, I know you loved me more. (I know you do, you did confess it to me in that vivid dream)
Mom and dad are doing well, although I'd urge you to convince mom not to worry so much! She just does! And sometimes we (the rest of us) get nostalgic about how you and mom together were the saabun ki chakkis, befuddling us since 1989. :P
Life is good, and we miss you. I have developed some really sensible (but some bordering on senile) beliefs about spirituality and what-not. I actually like that kind of thinking, perhaps it suits me. It's just so peaceful. :') Also, today while I was just doing.... nothing, actually, I had this fanciful idea that perhaps I am a mix of you and darjee, to some extent. I have his curiosity and love for adventure and your patience and view of the world, although I can't ever be as good as you were, but being a little bit of it is a great assurance.
Take care grandmamma! :D
Dearest Jhaiji,
We went to watch a movie today. We missed you sooo much because we know you'd have loved it! An animated film, in Punjabi, on Chaar Sahibzaade. :') I could almost imagine how you would have felt while watching the movie. Everybody, especially the old people, were crying so much! I'm sure you'd have known most of the story and would have added a lot more for our benefit. I miss your stories, but at the same time, am truly thankful that you spent such precious time with me, and that we bonded over those stories. :')
I loved this movie because it depicted the history of our faith, but more than that, it sent across the message of what exactly the sacrifices of our gurus and their families meant, what it is being a Sikh, what constitutes Sikhism, and how we're the lucky ancestors of brave souls who stood for justice and equality. Wish we would have watched it together, but anyhow, such things remind us more and more of you. Love you the mostest! Miss you. :*
***
Written and posted on: July 19, 2014
Dearest Jhaiji,
Ever since I got this laptop (on my birthday in 2011), the background image is a collage of your pictures. Today I had been considering making another collage with pictures of us (family), and in the process, found a picture of yours that is probably the last one. You still look graceful in it, of course. I just miss you still, but I do want to let you know we're all doing fantastic and you needn't worry about anything. I guess you listened to my prayers from the last time, because now that I read that, I realized each of those points has been taken care of. Thank you! :)
I got into the field of my choice, work of my choice, although I'm aware of this tug inside that'll keep me always on the lookout for things and opportunities that would help me get better. I'm quite satisfied, though, if not relieved. Of course there's work pressure, but it's something I can handle without breaking down or getting that sinking feeling in my heart. It's good. :)
G's also completed his course. He's made us truly proud. I'm so sure you'd have been ecstatic! And that you see him up close when he's out there. ;) I'm jealous of him for this luxury he enjoys, but nevertheless, I know you loved me more. (I know you do, you did confess it to me in that vivid dream)
Mom and dad are doing well, although I'd urge you to convince mom not to worry so much! She just does! And sometimes we (the rest of us) get nostalgic about how you and mom together were the saabun ki chakkis, befuddling us since 1989. :P
Life is good, and we miss you. I have developed some really sensible (but some bordering on senile) beliefs about spirituality and what-not. I actually like that kind of thinking, perhaps it suits me. It's just so peaceful. :') Also, today while I was just doing.... nothing, actually, I had this fanciful idea that perhaps I am a mix of you and darjee, to some extent. I have his curiosity and love for adventure and your patience and view of the world, although I can't ever be as good as you were, but being a little bit of it is a great assurance.
Take care grandmamma! :D
***
Written and posted on: Apr 13, 2014
Dear grandmamma,
I miss you, but you already know that, right? It's been three years we celebrated your birthday without you. Happy Birthday, by the way. I hope you're beaming and smiling and having a good time with all our respected family elders and friends up there. Even though I know you'd have already seen everything that's been going on, I'd still specially point out a few things for you, things I know you'd have cared deeply for.
- I finished college. Finally! Did I miss you so much the past two years especially, or what! Would you please ask God to let me have the kind of environment I would actually like? Anyway, I still did quite well (final trimester results were announced a few days ago). You'd have given me one of those beautiful smiles and told me how awesome I am. :)
- G's doing pretty good too. I mean, "I" actually feel so proud of him, will you believe that? That means he must be actually doing good. Pray for him, please. :)
- Mom and dad have been good, although I mostly wish I could run away from the weird parenty thingies they do by rushing to your side, but since you're not here now, I'm "gradually" learning to be as good to them too. Psst: Still, they do annoy me sometimes. :/
- I really want you to pray for V di. It's tragic what happened to her and I pray she gets a lot of happiness in her life!
- You're going to love this: I made the first ever Ashna-solo dish today! I'm so glad it was your birthday! And you'd have loved me for it, because it was actually really yumm! Obviously, I chose a really simple recipe, but it's just the beginning. ;) It was achaari paneer, by the way, the recipe to which I found on a yummy blog called Manjula's Kitchen.
- I also made a really simple card for you.
- I have almost 200 books at home now, not counting the academic ones and the random, stray ones. I'm talking about just "my" books. I know you always thought I should rather focus on academic texts, but I know you'd have appreciated these all the same and I'd have loved to narrate some of these stories to you, just like I did with the Harry Potter ones, right back at age 13.
- Will you please pray a little for your favorite granddaughter too? Even though I have many reasons to believe that I'll be okay, I feel a lot uncertain. I need your encouragement and your hugs. Your genuine prayers too. :)
Missing you forever. Loving you till the ends of eternity. ^_^
***
Written and posted on: Nov 25, 2011
I Miss You.....
I miss you
I miss my life
Why did God take you away
When we were together in this drive
The drive of life
Held my tiny hands
When I could barely crawl
Took me into your arms
When I suffered a fall
Gently wiped my tears
When I failed
Taught me it's more important
To have stood up again
Shared my dreamsMade me believe they can come true
I know your life story
Of which others don't have a clue
Patiently gave meaningful answers
To my inquisitive mind
How can I thank you for
Making and shaping my whole life
Where did God take you?
How will I again feel whole?
Our little universe has been shattered
I'm at the end of a bottomless hole.
But I know wherever you are
You're still a part of my soul
I promise I'll bring our shared dream
To reality, making it whole.
I always miss you
I always miss my life.
I'll continue in this drive of life
Your heart will be on my side.
One of your awesome and profound posts, Ashna-writer-Banga!
ReplyDeleteLoved it to the core and I know exactly how you feel. Keep up the fantabulous work! :D
It is a beautiful one for me because it came right from the heart. It's true and real. Thanku for liking it. :)
ReplyDeleteamazing Ashna...it's really very nice...
ReplyDeleteThanku Gauri! :)
ReplyDeleteA heart warming post Ashna. Made me read thrice. A really nice poem. Keep it flowing... :)
ReplyDelete:) It isn't a very sophisticated one, but I totally love it... Thanks.
ReplyDeleteheyyy!!! really niceeee...not jst ds 1....bt most of ur other stuff tooo...read some of them abhi..really great...keep it up.. :) :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't read it because it was sophisticated, but because it was so nice. :))
ReplyDeleteAditya- thanks! I appreciate you reading this stuff. :)
ReplyDeleteUsama- Thanku :)
awesome........ n we know how much u miss her..... stay happy dear always.... !!! :)
ReplyDeleteShivani- jab tak I have friends like you, I know my happiness is guaranteed! :)
ReplyDeleteThanku so much.
Wow Ashna! This is really beautiful. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Abhinaya! :)
Deletefabulous ..!!
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteUltimate. Luved it :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Dipanshu :)
DeleteLeo was right....this is the bestt....:-)
ReplyDeletebeautiful :-)
It's close to me :) Thank you.
Deleteread it today...and by the end I had moistened eyes.
ReplyDeleteTrue n Beautiful!
Thanks Srishti! ^_^
DeleteThe two posts above!
ReplyDeleteIt gave out such a nice feeling, like a little kid talking to her grandma :')
I miss my Naani the similar way :(
Hi Srishti! I know, right? Grandparents give us things that we can never measure. The true value of those are realized when they're taken away from us. Love them so much! :)
Delete