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Saturday, June 1, 2013

Weird-i-cable Me.

Those of you who've innocently ever sought my help with "names", like making up a nickname, or giving a name to a character, or even creating an email id, would know how pathetic I am at keeping names. Look at my blogs' names. I mean I do love them, but I could have kept something really cool, but I never seem to be able to think of the cool ones. Same goes for the titles of my posts. Like this one is a rhyming version of "Despicable Me", and I don't even know why and how Despicable Me came to mind. This is how weird my mind can work. Well, that's what this post is supposed to be about. All the quirky, stupid, weird things I am immensely capable of doing. I'm shedding off all pretenses and chances of feeling embarrassed, because I think I've been so open with telling you about the stupid things that there's really no scope for embarrassment left. I might as well go all the way and write some more. Alright, I'll get to the point now.

The following points are various instances of jhanduness that I've been through. I'm just mentioning those I can think of right now. Which can be just two or maybe a whole list. Who knows till I finish typing :D And oh, I stole this word, "jhanduness" from a Facebook update by Mr. Naveen Arora. 

I must be comfortable ALL THE TIME then! :P
# 2. (Number one is already done, right?): You know I'm interning? Now the thing with this internship is, I can do the work I'm supposed to do sitting at home as well. Earlier I needed to go, and see how things are and everything, but after a month, it's not necessary. Like, I go there and then just sit and get bored because I can't just do any work over there. I don't know why, so it's like wasting a day. Even knowing this, I feel like going. Even when going equals as good as not going because I'm not even meeting my mentor. Like an idiot, I still go and then regret it because I wasted a day. Apart from the headache I almost always come home with. I get this nagging feeling that I have to go and I always regret later. I guess it's not weirdness but stupidity. :/ 

Besides this, to get to the bus stop from where I take my bus in the wee hours of the morning (how dumb), I have to take Scoot. Now, before reaching that bus stop, there's a cut that is my route to the metro station, which I always take when going to college and anywhere in the metro. This happened twice, both times when I was driving like crazy because I was getting late and couldn't afford to miss the bus! (How stupid! I wish I missed!). Anyway, I was speeding like normal and was on the main road and like always it was just by routine that I was driving (my mind's always wandering off when I'm driving) and I gave the indicator and took the cut! Instead of going straight to the bus stop! And I kept on driving till I was quite a distance into that road when God realized I wouldn't know on my own, so he sent some heavenly smack and I realized with a jolt I'm going the wrong way. 

I don't know why this happens with me! I had to make sure not to look like a dumbass while slowing and stopping and turning back. Not that anyone was watching me (who has the time?), but still. Plus I was incredibly late and then I rushed back the same way I had come, gave a right indicator and parked Scoot where it belonged, looking up to see the bus coming towards the stop, and this time (when I did not have time) the signal was green, so that it didn't even stop and I had to run (really run) on the road with my heavy laptop bag (I don't even use the laptop these days. Still I carry it. I need a visit- or admission- to the hospital-for-crazy-wackos) to catch the bus. 

# 3: You know those times you're someplace that's not in your comfort zone and you try not to look lost because you hate having people look at you, so if you're walking, you'll hold your head high, purse your lips and slightly raise your eyebrows and then walk. Because you don't want to look like you're new and clueless (like I almost always am). I do that too, just that when I'm walking I tend to bump into stuff more often than I'd like. I mean, even in my comfort zone, walking straight is a commendable task. But when I'm in an alien setting, it's almost impossible. I can't count the number of times I have tripped on the stairs, walking this way, making all the effort fruitless because if you trip, people turn back and stare. When I was at my cousin's place in MP last week (patience people. I'll update soon!) and walking down the stairs like it's my house, when my pyara foot didn't find anything to step on and I slipped one, two, three, four, five stairs, until my clever hand grabbed the railing and I hung there like an idiot, one hand from the railing and lying straight on the staircase. My cousin looked horrified while the little brats laughed and I didn't know what to do. -_- This incident officially tagged me as a bona fide klutz. You guys can call me B.F.K. now.

Yeah, I was something like this.

# 4: Now as I was feeling lazy, I asked mom and dad over dinner to list things that make my jhanduness come to life. The first point dad said was that you don't even remember your own weird instances and you ask others to point them out for you. :P Then mom went on and on about how I:

- Hit everything I walk (why doesn't she know I get hit myself as well?)
- Can't enter / leave the kitchen without making something fall (He he he. That's my secret plan so that I don't need to do any kitchen work ;) )
- Don't like dressing up and go looking plain to a party and then come back and fume because I wasn't looking as good as everyone else. (Yeah, that's a sad one)
- Shout at a poor cockroach that suddenly crawled on my feet. (What else am I supposed to do? Coo?) and then smack it and give a victorious speech. To the cockroach.
- Other points I don't recall. I'm feeling so sleepy right now.

Then on chat I asked my friend P, and she reminded me of the time I came to pick her up on Scoot and then I was kicking the kick-start thing (whatever it's called technically) over and over, only to get exhausted and while cursing, realizing I hadn't even switched on the knob. o.O I don't even feel like continuing. :P I also asked another friend U, who told me I don't take enough risks to do weird stuff. Huh. As if all this isn't enough. :P

# 5: As I don't have a decent enough vocab, especially while chatting I tend to cook up words which are a cross between Hindi and poor, simple English words. Example (as reminded by Preetika, who gets to be at the receiving end most of the times):

- Niklofied (I've left my place and am on the way)
- Jumpoed with excitement (jumped with excitement)
- Jhelofy (to bear something that's unpleasant :P )
- Katofy (to cut. Time or whatever :P )

# 6: You know what? It's almost midnight and my head's ghooming. I'll continue in some other post. Please tell me you all have your own incidents of jhanduness too? 


  1. Ha ha ha ROFL :D

    I was laughing like anything as I reached the end of this post and I love those words that you have used... coz I tend to use the same many times!

    I wish I had the chance to experience this goofism with you ( thats what I like calling it) I would loved to add my own goofism and we could have had ROFL as we chatted ....

    1. Ooh! We need to chat more often! We could use this as our chat-language ;)

      I'm sure we could make one day out for the goofism! (Nice word! :D ). Looking forward to it ;)

  2. Gazab Ashna! You are a master at jhanduness :P

    Riding the scooty with no mind involved is my genre too...:D I find thinking about what to do at college or back home..more interesting than concentrating on the road :P

    My list of such jhanduness is tooo long, that it may require a whole post. :D
    But keep this up...'cause that's what you are loved for! ;)

    1. Haina? :D I think of what to write o.O and the lines actually form in my head and I wish I could have a chip in my brain to record those, as they're always better than what I ultimately end up writing. :| :P

      I guess you could make a post on your own jhanduness too ;)
      Thanks! I love you too! :D

  3. Hi you have a Very Nice Blog. . .
    what about we follow each other? let me know :)

    1. Hello! Welcome to my blog. Have checked out yours! :)

  4. This was a fun hilarious post. Ohh, I have been wanting to read something like this for such a long time, thank you for writing this. I am sure you would remember some more things when you get down to write a sequel to this post. You really should, sequels are totally in these days, looks at hollywood or bollywood even for that matter.

    I love your mix-up words, there are so cute. Just like... ;)

    And oh, I have my own list too, and a very long one at that. Let me think,
    - missing my station while travelling in metro, then getting off and running to the other side to go back to my station
    - breaking glass while it's still in my hand by accidentally hitting it somewhere(I've moved up a wrung from dropping them)
    - opening up home appliances to correct a fault and making them stop working altogether
    - slipping and falling down more than is normal for a person in one lifetime.

    and the list goes on. :P

    P.S: I don't get what the point #1 was :P

    1. Your comment made my day. And I'm not even remotely exaggerating :D
      It made me laugh too, because OHMYGOD! Your points, I can identify with, especially the missing my station part :P All points are so cute ;)

      And you ARE an observant reader. :D I was hoping no one would notice, but maybe I wanted someone to notice. You see, while typing I had this line in mind, that I'd add in the first paragraph itself, "and this is just the first point" after describing how I came up with the title, but I forgot to type that. And I realized that later when I posted and didn't feel like making any change. :P

      Thankyou thankyou again for being my favourite reader :D

    2. Arre don't mention it. You are an awesome writer so you need awesome readers, right? B) :D

      Correction. *look at hollywood or even bollywood*, for that matter.
      (commas matter :P)


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