Unheard Wish.

It's not a perfect poem, but the words express the feeling.

Making a wish, "If only I had ..."
Every night I went to sleep

Without a care in the world,
I enjoyed those luxuries.

Until I came upon an unknown soul ,
The hungry eyes that followed me
I turned around and saw them,
still watching fixatedly.

I see her tear her eyes from me,
She glanced at her hands, black with soot,
Her dress, the color not distinguished
Her hair, black or brown, it was all so crude.


She turns to her mother, tugs at her sari,
Secretly pointing me out
The mother puts an arm around her and tries to assure her,
Maybe for getting a dress like mine,
I'm shocked at seeing the trustful smile,

I wonder if she'll be able to have one, and feel terrible, thinking
I just fought with mom to buy me a designer, while this girl
can only dream of owning a clean , pretty dress she's comfortable in.

I look at my shoes, annoyed because mom got them from the sale
I look at her, the plain rubber slippers with a most visible repair.

I look at the hut, bricks and thatch, family of five cramped tough,
no electricity, no place to clean
while I always wondered why my room isn't big enough.

I felt shameful, just looking at her and grateful for all,
since it is the best one could wish for. I promise
not to wish more but, to give more,
to them,who just wish for something small.

I pledge to help her, I try to smile ,
But she turns away and goes inside.
The next morning, I carry a bag, filled with stuff, clothes and shoes I don't need
any more, I reach the place, but the hut is gone.

I see them turning around the corner, the family of five,
The girl with a bag even lighter than mine,
Probably in search of another place to settle in,
Till the time some other policeman threatens to turn them in.

THE FLIGHT...

Then, I held on to a firm hand

Now, I've learnt to stand on my own

Then, I looked up to ask for directions

Now, I find the right one alone

Then, I cried out loud

Now, I've learnt to weep

Then, I laughed with the jokes

Now, I ponder them deep

Then, I wished for friends

Now, I know how to be one

Then, I asked for a ride

Now, I can give one

Then, I wanted a hand

Now, I balance the fall

Then, I wished I was big

Now, I wish I was small

Then, I sought to find out how

Now, I seek to find out why

Then, I was a caterpillar

Now, I am a butterfly.

Metro Diaries.. # 2.

The morning I took THAT Metro train, or I should say THE Metro train, I thought there ought to be a sequel to the previous post (Metro Diaries ) , for my woes with Metro continue, getting bigger each day!

Right, so you know how I somehow ALWAYS end up being late ( I'm asking God for "a power to be on time" for my birthday this year !). Already running to be "IN" time for the first lecture, I wait desperately for the not-so-shining train to pull up at the platform, texting my bestie to keep me informed and apologizing (without really feeling sorry, since there's no time!) while I keep bumping into people or stepping on their toes !

To make things worse, it's rainy , so the crowd's more than usual..

See the train coming up, see the crowd.. OMG!

I'm SO sure I couldn't have survived if I had boarded that one. I don't know how my senses actually worked and I missed that train and stood waiting for the next one. The next one rolls on, I say goodbye to it too (wondering if all people jammed inside are still conscious).

Realizing that I couldn't stand at the station all day long, I make up the nerve to get inside, promising myself to be as near the doors, so I could make a dash - just in case !

Feeling terribly sorry for myself, preparing a convincing speech for my dad so he finally allows me to take the car, I manage three stations. But lo! The doors open and a swarm of fully fed aunties rush in and make their way straight at me! In a second, I'm trapped! What's with their common sense anyway? Can they even make a little girl (ok, not so little, but still ) suffocate just so that they can somehow get themselves stuck in?

I try hard not to shout out loud (I really made an effort but a little cry came out somehow- a lady noticed it and gave me a look! Like I'm mad for getting mad!!! ).

I gave my angriest look ever and got out at the next station. There I waited for another 15 minutes, until God took mercy on me and I found a train that wasn't full at all! I dashed inside and reached my station.

Obviously I wasn't "IN" time! I waited for the class to get over, getting mad at everybody inside, who always manage to be at the right place at the right time. (What's wrong with them???).

How I hoped for a miracle that would make traveling easier. It might sound far fetched, but I asked God to give me the power to Apparate or Disapparate (getting to any place with just a turn, like people in the Harry Potter world). I also thought of digging a tunnel from my home that would be connected to my college, but by the time I get it over, I would probably have finished college.

A more realistic wish was somehow reducing the crowd, and what do I hear??

There's a women - only coach getting started! Even though I'm a feminist and believe that women are equal to men, I wondered if it would be better.

The first day it was started, I could see men with looks of anger, sarcasm or anguish , glancing at the platform, where messages in PINK (I'm not kidding) said "Women Only".

One of them gave me a look that said "Yeah, go on, get on the reserved coach!".

I decided to travel 'normally', I told myself, "You don't even want to go in there". Then another, and err, much stronger voice in my overfull head said "Who are you kidding? You SO much want to be in that!" .

Ego can do strange things to people.

I decide to try it on my way back. Without looking at anybody, I make straight for the reserved coach and enter. Whoa, I find empty seats looking straight at me from every corner! Happily sitting on one (taking care to be seated next to a girl near my own age), I steal a peek to the next coach, which I saw, was filled with people standing uncomfortably. I resisted the urge to laugh (no offense, but the longing looks people were giving the empty seats made me laugh ).


But good stuff always comes with shiny-red-horrible-horn-headed monsters I guess. The other day I was lucky enough (hey, not because I was wearing my lucky perfume !) to get a seat. I hardly got past one station when an old and stooped lady entered the coach right in front of me. (I didn't feel very lucky then). Obviously, like a good girl that I am, I got up and offered her the seat and went to stand at my favorite corner. The next moment a middle aged woman came striding to the girl sitting at the corner seat and asked her to shift. There wasn't a space to let an ant breathe and the girl was all ,"where?".(I couldn't help a smirk).
The lady got irritated and asked every one sitting in the row to make space for her. When one of them politely offered her a seat (which was the sensible thing to do), she got all upset over the way teens behave! I mean, the girl totally would have got up had she asked politely instead of barging at her! But she had a thing (obviously in the negative) for teen girls, for she said "look at these girls! So indecent, so rude! All girls are the same, "cheezen bigaadti zyada hain" . (Uh, hello? Not ALL girls are like that! I just got up and am standing here, feeling the soles of my feet warm up against the hot floor, while I could have been sitting comfortably).

I guess the old lady had some psycho powers or something, for, to my horror, she pointed a finger STRAIGHT AT ME and said incredibly loud (I mean, really , I never thought anyone that old could have so much power) "See that girl? She vacated a seat for me, even without me asking for it, NOT all girls are bad!".

I could feel the stares of ALL women , girls, oldies whatever on me, and getting redder and redder and redder! I mean, you can't just stand there, not knowing what to do, when all strangers look straight at you as if you're an angel in disguise or something! (But yeah, I felt pleasure and pride too, when I got to my senses,. "They're praising you, idiot" a little voice in my head said.)
Anyway, I was SO thankful when the train stopped at the station. I didn't forget to give the all-girls-are-bad-thinking lady a smirking look, though!

I've always traveled in those coaches till now. They're much spacious, squabble free (exceptions are always there, but then, life was never easy!) and I never once felt I could be a victim of asphyxiation. What do we need to feel bad for? If it's been provided for our use and makes the journey easy , why not take advantage? Huh?