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Saturday, September 10, 2011

The INDIAN way of life ;)

"An Indian can possibly be recognized from miles away, they are THAT distinct". (Quote by: me!).

Living 99% of my life in this country, where I was born, I've had enough time to observe some typical habits that define Indians and make them stand apart! Funnily enough, a majority of these habits are (sub-consciously) quite humorous. With no offense to any Indian soul (well, OK, deliberate offense to some, but I'm not taking names :P ), I'm jotting down some 'observations', with inputs from my dear dad and my bestie. (Thank you both!)


1. We have as much faith in the power of a "JUGAAD" as we have in God!
Life simply CANNOT be lived without any Jugaad!
We hardly have the 'right' things available at a reasonable price, so we make use of our brains and come up with mind boggling alternatives!
Couldn't get the required funding, borrow some for the time being;
The sole of your shoe peeled out without warning? Go to the nearest stationery shop and buy a 'fevi-kwik';
Can't find a book? Photocopier zindabad;

We live more on alternatives than on the proper way. ;)

 2. We love to REPAIR everything!
The TV set will be repaired as many times as the number of states in India, plus their capitals, plus the number of political parties! :P As long as we can watch our shows, it doesn't matter if it's physical appearance resembles that of a huge robot's smashed face, or if the kids' teacher in school teaches then that 'Beltek' is extinct, but the kid has living proof that it's not! Ditto with other electrical appliances, gadgets, even pens! On a trip to our relatives' place in London, we were shocked to see them throw out a big brand new suitcase, just because of a problem with the zip! If we tried to do that here, wouldn't we be considered insane???

3. We conveniently follow our 'Indian Stretchable Time' (IST) everyday, every hour, every second!
Of course, if they say the seminar starts at 11, it's perfectly okay to arrive by 11.45, because we know that the guests don't arrive before an hour! A lecture at 9? Well, I haven't seen anyone who's normal, arrive at 9 sharp! (Though I remember a couple of times in my first year, I arrived even before 9! That's when I was an innocent lass, though). Plus, who ever heard of a marriage ceremony duly performed at 8pm??? A guest from London on a visit, insisted that we reach at 8, since that's what was written on the invitation card. On our arrival, the thekedar was having the tents put up!

4. We think everything's overpriced.
With the exception of the recent inflation problem, generally, Indians will find everything as 'overpriced'. Excepting stuff we get from branded shops or malls (I hope so), we will bargain on anything and everything possible! Shoes, clothes, accessories, furniture, sometimes appliances, bathroom fittings, services & what not! On bulk purchases, we love a discount! A 'SALE' is highly appreciated and impatiently waited for, and we hop like toads from one sale to another! Complete with the whole family.

5. We celebrate. Celebrate BIG. (especially marriages)
This one's really irritating. Parents work day in an out, save their hard earned money dime by dime, all to spend at their kids' wedding? (especially girls). Why? To show to the other side that you can afford an ostentatious marriage? Hundreds of guests, half of whom you see for the first time in your lives, flock your huge tent, gorging on the hundreds of dishes (and believe me, half of them come for food). You're tense all the time about what people will think. Heck with what they think! They're going to ridicule you anyway. Aren't marriages suppose be the coming together of two people and their families? Calm down, there is actually no NEED for all that. If the other party thinks of you as wrong, they're not worth your love.

6. Indians love Cricket. (Note: I don't)
It's a concept I can't fathom. True, I played cricket as a kid, but at least I'm not keeping my eyes stuck on the telly all day long, watching cricketers play their long long game. Or spending an entire evening in a restro bar with a huge LCD and a group of cheering (more like shouting) peers around. I just don't understand the hype around cricket. The Hoi Polloi (Greek for masses, or 'junta') are just crazy fanatics of cricket; why? It's only a sport! (Okay, I respect it by the way). We should enjoy other sports too! Like hockey (in case you remember, our National Game), roller skating, cycling (I love both!), tennis, etc etc.

7. A sad fact: Most people lack Civic Sense.
Indians seem lovely, until they get out of their shelters and out into the streets! Driving like nuts (everyone thinks they own the roads), hardly adhering to traffic rules, calling names to everyone who overtakes them! The lady next to you receives a call and she speaks into the receiver with such a loud intensity that a howler monkey would get an inferiority complex! Queues aren't meant to be made and all the public places are open spittoons! Why? Did everyone accidentally damage their prefrontal cortex*?

Many more examples can be cited, like packing up the leftover food from restaurants (though that seems fair enough- aha! The 'Indian' side of me ;) ) and yeah, taking our towels with us on a vacation! It's a mortifying thought to leave without our towels, even if the hotel/wherever we're staying, provides a double one!
I'm looking forward for some inputs from readers too! Let's see how many true Indians can come up with perfect examples!

*Prefrontal cortex- the part of brain that supports reasoning power.

(Apoorva Chhabra- Thanks for your inputs! :) )

7 comments:

  1. This was one of your best posts! ;)
    by the way.. you forgot all those 'fashion disasters' on the streets who think of themselves as the best dressed people on planet!; people who carve their lover's names on trees and monuments; and people who think it is 'oh so cool' to wear shades indoors! haha ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ravinder Singh BangaSeptember 10, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    Very authentic observation and beautifully written! Humorous!

    Since I travel a lot, I can recognize Indians from a distance at the airport, since they will be found with heavy check-in bags and bulky handbags. They can't digest the concept of 'Travel light', whether they're going abroad or returning. Plus, they always carry stuff like dal, achaar, papad, haldiram's namkeen & sweets!

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  3. Hahahhaa.. Thanks for the inputs! :)
    Really true! :P

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  4. ur welcum dear :)
    superlyk post wel wrtn humorous & true to d core
    :DDDD

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  5. Hilarious...!!!
    Also Indian's have a knack for feeding people....feeding thm till they are on d verge of puking...!

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  6. Yeah! Also, we love stocking stuff we don't even use, thinking it might come in handy later (as told by dad).
    I guess this post can have a sequel ;)

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  7. 'The thekedar was having the Tents put up'...hahahaa
    They really never starts before 10
    And Cricket,wo Buddy,more than watching i love playing it.
    (Though i love Badminton,Tennis and Football too)
    Ya sure this can have a sequel,as there are endless points to this.
    Breaking Traffic Rules to Blood mein hai Indians ke,and then that 'ek cup chai ho jaaye' dialogue every evening and many more.

    Mast Refreshing Post.

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