The INDIAN way of life ;)

"An Indian can possibly be recognized from miles away, they are THAT distinct". (Quote by: me!).

Living 99% of my life in this country, where I was born, I've had enough time to observe some typical habits that define Indians and make them stand apart! Funnily enough, a majority of these habits are (sub-consciously) quite humorous. With no offense to any Indian soul (well, OK, deliberate offense to some, but I'm not taking names :P ), I'm jotting down some 'observations', with inputs from my dear dad and my bestie. (Thank you both!)

1. We have as much faith in the power of a "JUGAAD" as we have in God!
Life simply CANNOT be lived without any Jugaad!
We hardly have the 'right' things available at a reasonable price, so we make use of our brains and come up with mind boggling alternatives!
Couldn't get the required funding, borrow some for the time being;
The sole of your shoe peeled out without warning? Go to the nearest stationery shop and buy a 'fevi-kwik';
Can't find a book? Photocopier zindabad;

We live more on alternatives than on the proper way. ;)

 2. We love to REPAIR everything!
The TV set will be repaired as many times as the number of states in India, plus their capitals, plus the number of political parties! :P As long as we can watch our shows, it doesn't matter if it's physical appearance resembles that of a huge robot's smashed face, or if the kids' teacher in school teaches then that 'Beltek' is extinct, but the kid has living proof that it's not! Ditto with other electrical appliances, gadgets, even pens! On a trip to our relatives' place in London, we were shocked to see them throw out a big brand new suitcase, just because of a problem with the zip! If we tried to do that here, wouldn't we be considered insane???

3. We conveniently follow our 'Indian Stretchable Time' (IST) everyday, every hour, every second!
Of course, if they say the seminar starts at 11, it's perfectly okay to arrive by 11.45, because we know that the guests don't arrive before an hour! A lecture at 9? Well, I haven't seen anyone who's normal, arrive at 9 sharp! (Though I remember a couple of times in my first year, I arrived even before 9! That's when I was an innocent lass, though). Plus, who ever heard of a marriage ceremony duly performed at 8pm??? A guest from London on a visit, insisted that we reach at 8, since that's what was written on the invitation card. On our arrival, the thekedar was having the tents put up!

4. We think everything's overpriced.
With the exception of the recent inflation problem, generally, Indians will find everything as 'overpriced'. Excepting stuff we get from branded shops or malls (I hope so), we will bargain on anything and everything possible! Shoes, clothes, accessories, furniture, sometimes appliances, bathroom fittings, services & what not! On bulk purchases, we love a discount! A 'SALE' is highly appreciated and impatiently waited for, and we hop like toads from one sale to another! Complete with the whole family.

5. We celebrate. Celebrate BIG. (especially marriages)
This one's really irritating. Parents work day in an out, save their hard earned money dime by dime, all to spend at their kids' wedding? (especially girls). Why? To show to the other side that you can afford an ostentatious marriage? Hundreds of guests, half of whom you see for the first time in your lives, flock your huge tent, gorging on the hundreds of dishes (and believe me, half of them come for food). You're tense all the time about what people will think. Heck with what they think! They're going to ridicule you anyway. Aren't marriages suppose be the coming together of two people and their families? Calm down, there is actually no NEED for all that. If the other party thinks of you as wrong, they're not worth your love.

6. Indians love Cricket. (Note: I don't)
It's a concept I can't fathom. True, I played cricket as a kid, but at least I'm not keeping my eyes stuck on the telly all day long, watching cricketers play their long long game. Or spending an entire evening in a restro bar with a huge LCD and a group of cheering (more like shouting) peers around. I just don't understand the hype around cricket. The Hoi Polloi (Greek for masses, or 'junta') are just crazy fanatics of cricket; why? It's only a sport! (Okay, I respect it by the way). We should enjoy other sports too! Like hockey (in case you remember, our National Game), roller skating, cycling (I love both!), tennis, etc etc.

7. A sad fact: Most people lack Civic Sense.
Indians seem lovely, until they get out of their shelters and out into the streets! Driving like nuts (everyone thinks they own the roads), hardly adhering to traffic rules, calling names to everyone who overtakes them! The lady next to you receives a call and she speaks into the receiver with such a loud intensity that a howler monkey would get an inferiority complex! Queues aren't meant to be made and all the public places are open spittoons! Why? Did everyone accidentally damage their prefrontal cortex*?

Many more examples can be cited, like packing up the leftover food from restaurants (though that seems fair enough- aha! The 'Indian' side of me ;) ) and yeah, taking our towels with us on a vacation! It's a mortifying thought to leave without our towels, even if the hotel/wherever we're staying, provides a double one!
I'm looking forward for some inputs from readers too! Let's see how many true Indians can come up with perfect examples!

*Prefrontal cortex- the part of brain that supports reasoning power.

(Apoorva Chhabra- Thanks for your inputs! :) )

The transition...

I don't write for any group of readers. It's myself I write for, because I love it.
However, this is one post I think my fellows would associate with. By fellows I neither mean those 'little' junior friends (don't kill me for this :P), nor I mean the seniors (now pass-outs). I mean my batch mates, who've experienced the similar phase of transition, who, like me are now in third and final year of college.

The first day I assumed we would be walking around as bosses (why shouldn't we? We're super seniors now, after all), attracting respectful glances and surrounded by even more little first year students, who will be approaching us to get that 'information' (on college societies, what else? They haven't lived half a day of their college life and they wanna join a society. Poor souls, little do they know they'll be going nuts by the end of the session). I came to know all my assumptions were pointless, since this is what did NOT happen. I mean we DID walk around as the boss, we DID get respectful glances (I guess we did), but still, it didn't 'feel' the same. It wasn't like last year. Maybe it's a little hard to put into words, but that's what it was. Same, but distinctly different.

For one, there seems to be a back-hold of normal college conversation. All that people want to talk about is the changed pattern of CAT exam or the organizations they would want to work in. It's all really important and enlightening, but just not fun. Why don't they talk about the silly canteen food anymore? Or the ultimate fashion disasters so prevalent in colleges?

Another, and I guess the worst, is the segregation based on the fields of specialization! Two years you've had the fun of your lives with friends who will be your life long buddies, and you don't share a classroom with them anymore! I miss you my friends :/.

We've got to continuously work towards preparing for what lies 'ahead'. (so typical of us Indians, always preparing for tomorrow, with little time to enjoy the present). We've got to prepare for our entrance exams or interviews, so our involvement in ECA societies has to decrease. SO unfair! What about someone like me, who's literally survived on ECAs? It's like you're being deprived of the very things you like the most!

Plus, the teachers expect us to set an example for the juniors. We make one mistake and we're reminded how our actions will affect the future generations! Hello? Did we ever even notice what 'good' deeds our seniors did, let alone learn from it? (I mean, why even bother!)

However, I guess it isn't really that bad, you know. I mean, being the senior-most students, you are asked for advice on a variety of matters. (As if we've grown into geniuses by our third year :P. We blabber anything and the juniors leave all starry eyed, believing the problem will be resolved. But hey, most often, it DOES).

Also, we don't need to run around sticking and making posters or notices anymore! That's not what the super seniors are meant to do! Du-uh! ;)

Plus, for a change, a HUGE change, the security guard doesn't ask for your ID proof anymore. FINALLY he realized that we're normal college students, whom he sees every working day (and sometimes other days too), who've paid their tuition fee and come to college to study (Huhahhahahaa ) and are not any kind of hooligans or vagabonds or possible terrorists!

I now understand why people most often associate the best part of their college life with the sophomore year. You're not a new comer, you know everything there is to know, you interact with both, your juniors and seniors and you get to participate in ECAs a lot! It's simply the best time of your college life! To the sophomores, don't miss out on the fun this year's going to bring you. Look out for every opportunity, grab it and share with friends and most importantly, ENJOY!!!

Love and wishes
An ex-sophomore, a new super-senior!

What REAL Harry Potter fans don't like...

I'll make this post short and sweet, SO unlike my usual posts. That's because I want those morons who think they're Harry Potter fans, to read this and get over with their fantasy!

1. FAKE HP fans.
Those who like the HP world because so many people across the world are crazy about it. They haven't read the books, they don't know the central meaning of the whole story, BUT they'll watch the movies to gel in with the crowd. I personally don't think those who haven't read the books understand the depth of the story, the reason for Harry's survival, the deep meaning about love and kindness and power of goodness that's hidden in the written word. The movies don't even show everything, since it's not possible and hence it becomes 'just a magic story' kind of movie; and those who only follow the movies don't understand the real meaning. Dear such people, you are only aware of the magical names and terms BUT you don't know WHY and HOW things are going the way they're going. Follow my advice, read the books, OR DON'T blabber that you know everything about it. I'll quiz you once on it and you'll fall off straight away! Save yourself the misery.

2. Movie Ticket grabbers - just because a movie is in 3D!!!
Patiently waiting a whole year to watch the "End" of Voldy, I go out all set to watch the movie. Reaching the counter after spending a half hour in the queue, I'm cheerfully told the tickets are sold out!!! Hello??? What happened? Every single time I've gone for HP movies (which are the only movies I make the effort to go out for) not even half the number of tickets were sold. How did it become 'sold-out' now??? I'll tell you why. Because morons rule the world. Most people (and mostly kids) want to watch it just because it's in 3D. Yes, so lame. I mean, do the 7 year olds even understand what's happening? All they will understand is that there's a war and they'll love it in 3D, love the flashes of light. That's it! I feel so sorry for people like me!

3. Crazy Co-movie watchers.
We get the tickets, the movie starts. Whispers follow. On closer inspection, I find people whispering to each other. In between the movie! Spoiling the fun for others! Some will be showing off their HP knowledge by carefully explaining about the events in the movie to their friends, who don't know the story. Some will be saying out loud what's going to happen next (yeah, book readers find it hard to restrain themselves, sadly. Such people, wake up! You're not the only ones there. We know much more than you and you would do better to just shut up). Some kids would be stuffing their mouths with popcorn and saying, "Mummy, Harry ke peeche kyu bhaag re hai sab?" Of course, they don't keep their voices down either. You try to ask them to keep quiet and the angry protective mom stares at you. Sad!

4. (People may disagree with me here, but what I'm saying is completely my own personal thought).
People who want to watch the movies - in HINDI!!!
That's just so ewww. HP in Hindi is completely incomprehensible (I'm excluding those who've read the Hindi versions of the books). It would have been okay if they didn't change the names of different stuff. Gryffindor becomes "garudwar", Deathly Hallows becomes "maut ke taufe". Hello? There isn't any relation of the title with any 'taufa' or gift!
I'm not including those who've read the Hindi versions; because at least they understand. They KNOW what's happening.

5. People who don't like HP.
99.9999....... % of the times these are people who haven't even read the books. Guys, please DON'T judge the book by its cover! If you don't like magic, stay away from it; but don't criticize HP. For heaven's sake, it's the best next thing to the word 'magic' in fiction. A whole new legendary world created via imagination. Hats off to J.K.Rowling! Millions of kids have spent their childhood/teenage/both with Harry and his mystical world. They owe HP their reading habit, their improved language skills and knowledge. For those who've read the books but still don't like them, I would like to say just three words - GET A LIFE!!!

6. People who wonder why some people ( like ME) are crazy about HP...
Either read the series yourself or STOP wondering. :p

Personal note - Anybody who says anything negative about HP (without any knowledge themselves), in front of me, is inviting trouble. I'm an HP MANIAC and have read each book at least 7 times (and counting), plus the supplementary ones. (I've only ever got *The Tales of Beedle the Bard*. Still searching for *Quidditch through the ages* and *Fantastic Beasts and where to find them*. Exactly. Where to find them? The books, I mean. They don't seem to be in any bookstore :/ )

Contrary to what I promised in the beginning, for this to be a short and sweet note, it became a long one. Though it's okay, HP is some topic I love to talk about! HP fans, and I mean REAL HP fans, do tell me if you agree with me or not! I would love to discuss HP further.

Ending with Dumbledore's lines (to Harry) that I love, "You've got a power of which Voldemort is ignorant. The power to love. This is ancient magic, understood by few."

All the 'est's that I am...

Note: I thought it would be safe to mention it before you read the article and think I'm those adjectives that end with an 'est' (read on). I know 99% of the time, 99% of my life is like that, the rest 1% being the me that you see. The me that acts as a rational human. (if that's what it seems anyway). I'm not going to spoil it for me by admitting it to you. So listen, whatever is written was spontaneous, straight out of my head. Imaginary. Exaggeration. You must make sure you think always, ALWAYS and know that I'm actually really awesome! ;)

Promise? Okay! Here you go!

I'm sure I've never been more positive about anything in life. It's a fact that cannot be altered- I'm the dumbest stupidest mentalest moronest idioticest and all other similar adjectives with an 'est' (I know they don't exist. But now they do. I've invented them) thing God ever thought of making. I'm not even sure God thought of it at all. Maybe I got out of some clumsy recycling taking place up there. Who knows. But certainly I can't be normal.

Nobody can be SO prone to the most stupidest, etc (read above) things that can ever happen to a human being. (If that's what I am. Maybe I'm an alien from a lousy planet who forgot she's not part of this clan, but was so dumb she didn't realize it before).

It would turn out as huge paragraphs, so I'm jotting down the idiotic stuff as points. (Here you go. Nobody ever heard of a nice piece of article in points. But I'm doing it, as always).

1. Prone to accidents.

Numerous instances can justify that. I'm not talking about the time when I was playing blindfolds with my brother and smashed my head straight into a wall, resulting in painful stitches (yes, even blindfolded, I was practically running!), or all the times I've stepped foot in the kitchen and came out either smashing down a cup, pouring hot food all over the floor because I had tried to pick up the pan with my bare hands(it doesn't register in my head that pan off the stove would be hot, never ever!) or making the utensil rack fall (I just touched it, I swear!). No, I'm talking about the times when I've stepped numerous times on my friends' foot/slipper, making them fall, tripped over practically flat pieces of land (at least there should be something), or making myself so available to cosco balls (thank God never leather ones, yet) who find their way to me even when I'm a kilometer away. I mean, that's just not fair. And this is just the first point! :(

2. Missing all the best SALE offers. 

I’m only a student, living on an infinitesimal pocket money, since, well, I’m a student and haven’t started work for a living yet (not that I’m too lazy). So I keep my eyes and ears open for a hint of a sale in any of my favorite stores. Believe me, I scan the papers and learn via word of mouth, any sale and that feeling of want inflates and I end up spending my hard saved pocket money. It wouldn’t be too bad, except for the fact that I find out much better sale offers, with much better merchandise, that could have made my hopeless wardrobe much better, AFTER I’ve spent my money.

The biggest example could be the bag I bought a couple of days back. I had been looking out for a sale on the brand since forever and when it came up, I made my bestie spend an entire day with me to help search for one, traveling to another part of the city. It wasn’t even my color-red! I got it anyway just because I wanted one. The next day I noticed a shop with the same brand of bags, with the same Sale offer but with much much better designs! I felt a sharp twinge of pain in my heart and felt anger bubbling up. You know why? BECAUSE THAT SHOP’S TWO BUILDINGS DOWN FROM WHERE I’M WORKING!!!! Doing internship, I mean. I must be a downright head case not to notice the shop before. NOW you know what I mean.

3. Hitting realization a little bit too late.

My friends realize that our plans aren’t going to work out and would result in weird consequences and hence, they don’t do anything of the sort. I realize the same stuff too, just when I’ve already done the dumb stuff and the aforementioned weird consequences are only an inch away! All of us know that the girl who just passed us had the funniest hairdo ever, but I’m the only one who can’t resist the temptation to say it out loud, which results in that dangerous looking girl look back and stare at me as if it’s my fault, which later results in reprimands from my friends. Why? WHY WHY am I seriously incapable of keeping my big wide mouth (that shows all 32 teeth when I laugh) shut? Why do I realize that the Metro I just conveniently missed is the one that would take me to my destination and won't be coming for another 20 minutes! Why after throwing part of it in the bin I realize it's the gum I've thrown and not the wrapper? WHY???

4. The Metro victim.

Before you start on how I'm obsessed with the Metro, bringing it up in almost every post, let me tell you I'm not. It's just a part of my daily life, where I practically make my life decisions- but with so much pain! I can conveniently be called a Metro victim. It's always been my foot, with my beautiful shoes that get trampled on by every old, middle or young lady (I travel in the women coupe). The kids don't leave it alone either, so by the time I reach my destination, my shiny shoes have various sole prints on them! Also, it's always been my seat (if ever I get one) that's the first to be vacated because an old lady comes directly to me.  It's been me all those million times when I missed my station because I was engrossed in a book. (I almost missed my exam once, like this :o )

And there's much more. Loads more. However, I realized (I hope it's not a little too late) that the post's become rather long. I'll continue with more points in the next post.

PS- Re-reading the article, I noticed that it's too negative. So before you smart people start thinking I'm some distant relative of a retarded seal, let me tell you I'll be coming up with a post soon that will make you look like a retarded seal itself. Watch it!