Unheard Wish.

It's not a perfect poem, but the words express the feeling.

Making a wish, "If only I had ..."
Every night I went to sleep

Without a care in the world,
I enjoyed those luxuries.

Until I came upon an unknown soul ,
The hungry eyes that followed me
I turned around and saw them,
still watching fixatedly.

I see her tear her eyes from me,
She glanced at her hands, black with soot,
Her dress, the color not distinguished
Her hair, black or brown, it was all so crude.


She turns to her mother, tugs at her sari,
Secretly pointing me out
The mother puts an arm around her and tries to assure her,
Maybe for getting a dress like mine,
I'm shocked at seeing the trustful smile,

I wonder if she'll be able to have one, and feel terrible, thinking
I just fought with mom to buy me a designer, while this girl
can only dream of owning a clean , pretty dress she's comfortable in.

I look at my shoes, annoyed because mom got them from the sale
I look at her, the plain rubber slippers with a most visible repair.

I look at the hut, bricks and thatch, family of five cramped tough,
no electricity, no place to clean
while I always wondered why my room isn't big enough.

I felt shameful, just looking at her and grateful for all,
since it is the best one could wish for. I promise
not to wish more but, to give more,
to them,who just wish for something small.

I pledge to help her, I try to smile ,
But she turns away and goes inside.
The next morning, I carry a bag, filled with stuff, clothes and shoes I don't need
any more, I reach the place, but the hut is gone.

I see them turning around the corner, the family of five,
The girl with a bag even lighter than mine,
Probably in search of another place to settle in,
Till the time some other policeman threatens to turn them in.

THE FLIGHT...

Then, I held on to a firm hand

Now, I've learnt to stand on my own

Then, I looked up to ask for directions

Now, I find the right one alone

Then, I cried out loud

Now, I've learnt to weep

Then, I laughed with the jokes

Now, I ponder them deep

Then, I wished for friends

Now, I know how to be one

Then, I asked for a ride

Now, I can give one

Then, I wanted a hand

Now, I balance the fall

Then, I wished I was big

Now, I wish I was small

Then, I sought to find out how

Now, I seek to find out why

Then, I was a caterpillar

Now, I am a butterfly.

Metro Diaries.. # 2.

The morning I took THAT Metro train, or I should say THE Metro train, I thought there ought to be a sequel to the previous post (Metro Diaries ) , for my woes with Metro continue, getting bigger each day!

Right, so you know how I somehow ALWAYS end up being late ( I'm asking God for "a power to be on time" for my birthday this year !). Already running to be "IN" time for the first lecture, I wait desperately for the not-so-shining train to pull up at the platform, texting my bestie to keep me informed and apologizing (without really feeling sorry, since there's no time!) while I keep bumping into people or stepping on their toes !

To make things worse, it's rainy , so the crowd's more than usual..

See the train coming up, see the crowd.. OMG!

I'm SO sure I couldn't have survived if I had boarded that one. I don't know how my senses actually worked and I missed that train and stood waiting for the next one. The next one rolls on, I say goodbye to it too (wondering if all people jammed inside are still conscious).

Realizing that I couldn't stand at the station all day long, I make up the nerve to get inside, promising myself to be as near the doors, so I could make a dash - just in case !

Feeling terribly sorry for myself, preparing a convincing speech for my dad so he finally allows me to take the car, I manage three stations. But lo! The doors open and a swarm of fully fed aunties rush in and make their way straight at me! In a second, I'm trapped! What's with their common sense anyway? Can they even make a little girl (ok, not so little, but still ) suffocate just so that they can somehow get themselves stuck in?

I try hard not to shout out loud (I really made an effort but a little cry came out somehow- a lady noticed it and gave me a look! Like I'm mad for getting mad!!! ).

I gave my angriest look ever and got out at the next station. There I waited for another 15 minutes, until God took mercy on me and I found a train that wasn't full at all! I dashed inside and reached my station.

Obviously I wasn't "IN" time! I waited for the class to get over, getting mad at everybody inside, who always manage to be at the right place at the right time. (What's wrong with them???).

How I hoped for a miracle that would make traveling easier. It might sound far fetched, but I asked God to give me the power to Apparate or Disapparate (getting to any place with just a turn, like people in the Harry Potter world). I also thought of digging a tunnel from my home that would be connected to my college, but by the time I get it over, I would probably have finished college.

A more realistic wish was somehow reducing the crowd, and what do I hear??

There's a women - only coach getting started! Even though I'm a feminist and believe that women are equal to men, I wondered if it would be better.

The first day it was started, I could see men with looks of anger, sarcasm or anguish , glancing at the platform, where messages in PINK (I'm not kidding) said "Women Only".

One of them gave me a look that said "Yeah, go on, get on the reserved coach!".

I decided to travel 'normally', I told myself, "You don't even want to go in there". Then another, and err, much stronger voice in my overfull head said "Who are you kidding? You SO much want to be in that!" .

Ego can do strange things to people.

I decide to try it on my way back. Without looking at anybody, I make straight for the reserved coach and enter. Whoa, I find empty seats looking straight at me from every corner! Happily sitting on one (taking care to be seated next to a girl near my own age), I steal a peek to the next coach, which I saw, was filled with people standing uncomfortably. I resisted the urge to laugh (no offense, but the longing looks people were giving the empty seats made me laugh ).


But good stuff always comes with shiny-red-horrible-horn-headed monsters I guess. The other day I was lucky enough (hey, not because I was wearing my lucky perfume !) to get a seat. I hardly got past one station when an old and stooped lady entered the coach right in front of me. (I didn't feel very lucky then). Obviously, like a good girl that I am, I got up and offered her the seat and went to stand at my favorite corner. The next moment a middle aged woman came striding to the girl sitting at the corner seat and asked her to shift. There wasn't a space to let an ant breathe and the girl was all ,"where?".(I couldn't help a smirk).
The lady got irritated and asked every one sitting in the row to make space for her. When one of them politely offered her a seat (which was the sensible thing to do), she got all upset over the way teens behave! I mean, the girl totally would have got up had she asked politely instead of barging at her! But she had a thing (obviously in the negative) for teen girls, for she said "look at these girls! So indecent, so rude! All girls are the same, "cheezen bigaadti zyada hain" . (Uh, hello? Not ALL girls are like that! I just got up and am standing here, feeling the soles of my feet warm up against the hot floor, while I could have been sitting comfortably).

I guess the old lady had some psycho powers or something, for, to my horror, she pointed a finger STRAIGHT AT ME and said incredibly loud (I mean, really , I never thought anyone that old could have so much power) "See that girl? She vacated a seat for me, even without me asking for it, NOT all girls are bad!".

I could feel the stares of ALL women , girls, oldies whatever on me, and getting redder and redder and redder! I mean, you can't just stand there, not knowing what to do, when all strangers look straight at you as if you're an angel in disguise or something! (But yeah, I felt pleasure and pride too, when I got to my senses,. "They're praising you, idiot" a little voice in my head said.)
Anyway, I was SO thankful when the train stopped at the station. I didn't forget to give the all-girls-are-bad-thinking lady a smirking look, though!

I've always traveled in those coaches till now. They're much spacious, squabble free (exceptions are always there, but then, life was never easy!) and I never once felt I could be a victim of asphyxiation. What do we need to feel bad for? If it's been provided for our use and makes the journey easy , why not take advantage? Huh?

A Day in the life of an average teen.

Yeah, I'm an average teen. Nothing very interesting that I am good at (maybe except creating embarrassing situations for myself every now and then- ya I'm EXCELLENT in doing that!!!) and nothing very appealing about my looks. Half the time I'm not sure what to do, what to say, when to say and stuff like that. You got it, I'm just another teenager.

Today was a day that couldn't have been less than a "jumble", with so many confused decisions, laughing and fighting at the same time, enjoying one moment, then being frustrated at the second!

It started with me finally getting up in the morning, after hitting the snooze button a thousand times, looking all flustered in the rush to reach in time for the second lecture (the first is missed... I forgot it was supposed to start early!).

Reach the metro station, ask the Security lady about a new route (we had planned to go to Dilli Haat near INA in the south for work for the college magazine--yes, I'm finally into it!) . The lady said a measley "yes" when I asked if the route's started yet and impatiently pushed me and gave me such a look as if I was planning to bomb the station in question!

Without saying 'Thank You' to her, I climbed the stairs to the platform (I NEVER use the lifts, it's for the old and physically challenged, not for fit people). The train rolled onto the platform, filled with people bursting near the doors, with no space even for a particle. I see more people struggling and wriggling to get in (don't they ever feel like breathing normally? What's the point of traveling like a herd of sheep, when you can't even stand straight, without leaning on other people?).
I miss two more similar overfull trains (I am already late, I'm still gonna make that stupid excuse and still gonna get that weird stare from the teacher), until I find the one where I think I could breathe and stand properly. Trying to stand away from aunties (who piss you off no matter what, by snatching your comfortable place or by giving you those annoying looks- you know what I mean!), I reverse count the number of stations left..
Get a text from my bestie - where have you reached??? I'm getting bored, pls do come fast. Yippee.... there's a soul in this world who misses me!

Happily text back- "4 stations left.. 20 mins..".

Finally reaching my station, I make a bargain with the rickshaw-wallah who decides to move slowly (to make me realize that I should pay him more, I guess).

Making a sorry face and claiming to be unwell, I enter the classroom with every other student sitting there(how do they manage????). I try to ignore the stares and move as silently as possible to the desk that's not been cleaned. No pen again! Borrow it from someone and listen to the teacher as if I'm getting in every word!

There's a talent hunt in college, so me and my bestie submit our names for "photography" (since we joined the society in the first year and got a little knowledge out of it).

We roam about, finding other friends, supposedly to start for our little day picnic (officially for the magazine work ;) ). 

We wanted to explore that part of the city on one side and stay at college to attend the Hunt on the other.

After about two hours of analyzing the situation (that's what we've studied commerce for!), we finally decide to go south. 

Boarding the Metro train easily (did I mention that traveling with friends is much easier than traveling alone?) we chatted and gossiped (what else could we do?) about people in college, in the metro, everywhere! Laughing, talking and asking for directions every now and then, we reached our destination. Grabbing a bite hurriedly, we bought tickets and entered. 

Ohhhh.. the place's so colorful! Beautiful handicrafts filled every stall. Artefacts bought down especially from the different states kept us transfixed! Clicking pictures of every other thing that stood for Cultural Diversity (which was the theme for the exhibition and we were there to take pictures), we window shopped (and actually shopped in some cases!), had snacks and drinks (among flies that loved our drinks as much as we did) and spent some pretty time in the vicinity.

We started back home in the late afternoon. I reached my place in the evening, where my Mom took a full report of where we went and what we did, chiding at the same time (I got a pair of very pretty bangles. Mom said I should've got more than just that!!!). 

The bell rang and there stood my neighborhood friend. Exchanging talks about our respective experiences that day, we took a small walk in the park, which soothed my senses instantly. The rest of the evening was spent with the telly and on Facebook (who can miss that???), with no trace of studies! (But I've got a valid excuse. Hey, it's Friday, meaning we've got two whole days off to grope with our textbooks, plus we've been doing magazine work since morning (yeah, right! ;) ).

I text chatted with my bestie before sleeping, plugged in the earphones, listened to my favorite tracks countless times and dozed off without even bothering to take them off! (No wonder I need to charge the cell phone every single morning!). Hehee. :))))

PS- I broke the strap of one of my slippers (yes-AGAIN!!!) on our way TOWARDS south. We didn't find any cobbler and I didn't like any pair at the shops we explored (plus I wouldn't spend my bucks on a measley slipper! In any case, I'm used to it!), so I  dragged it all along! ;)